Tuesday 27 April 2010

Mooching Around.

I like the word 'mooch'.
It's a strange word..
The dictionary says that to mooch is to 'wander around aimlessly; To beg, cadge, or sponge; to exploit or take advantage of others for personal gain; To steal or filch'.

Personally, when I say that I'm mooching, I generally mean that I'm wandering around with no particular purpose or sense of rush, rather than taking advantage of others!

I had a dentist appointment this morning at 8:20am, which would be nasty on any day (I am most definitely not a morning person), but considering that today is a teacher training day, meaning that we have no school today, it was particularly hard to drag myself out of the comfy retreat that is my bed. However, I managed it, and mum dropped me off at the dentists' and I got that all sorted out.

Afterwards, I decided to go and have a look around town. And then I realised that it was only 8:30am, and that the shops didn't open until 9. So, on impulse, I went to Costa Coffee (which was open), and spent a pleasant half hour simply sitting in there with a hot chocolate - plus marshmellows and cream, of course - and thinking quietly. I felt slightly out of place, considering that almost everybody else was obviously a regular - they were all asking for "the usual", but even so, it was nice.

Feeling relaxed, at 9, I walked around town and did a spot of shopping, and then went up to the library and spent a good half hour sitting on one of the sofas reading a good book, before walking home.

I enjoy mooching. I enjoy it a lot.

Sunday 25 April 2010

Joy

I had a concert this afternoon; a showcase concert in which I was playing the piano. I hadn't particularly been looking forward to it, and while I was there all I was thinking about was the fact that I wanted to be at the Gracechurch Family Together service instead. The concert went well, but I just wasn't very interested in being there - in fact, I was becoming moodier by the minute.

But when we finally arrived at Gracechurch and walked in late, my mood improved almost instantly. I settled myself down by good friends and was soon laughing, chatting, dancing (?!), and goodness knows what else.

And it just makes me think. Because I personally find it so easy to think that I'm clearly lacking the joy which the Bible talks about, and which I know I should feel - I mean, Jesus has defeated death! What is there not to be joyful about?! - but today proved otherwise. Simply allowing the joy to express itself through laughter, conversation, worship and socialisation at Gracechurch today made me realise that the joy is always there in my heart - I just need to act upon it and not wallow in self-pity.

Of course, life has its ups and downs. We cannot constantly be happy (although I know a number of people who are fairly good at it!). There are going to be hard times for each and every one of us - we know that. And yet, even in the darkest hour, we can look back to the cross and see what Jesus did for us, and be filled with hope again and again, and be lifted out.

Today has been a mixture of emotions.
And tomorrow will be, too.
As will every day for the rest of my life.
But so long as I remember what he's done, the joy which God has given me will never die.